go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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