white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
