ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
