remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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