I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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