i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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