we have officially lost it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
