I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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