No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
