In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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