I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He shit in the fireplace
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
