True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
