it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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