Plan B is the new Plan A
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
