North Korea, Best Korea!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
