how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Bring me that man meat
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize