Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
