Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just pynch a tree in the face
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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