Too much gin, very little bucket
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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