we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
