Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
