Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
