he wants to bone in the snuggie
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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