we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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