I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
