She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
