Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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