Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
