Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
