for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
