I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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