Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
