Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont even know how to be here
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
