she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
