I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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