hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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