AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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