i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
