You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
