Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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