I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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