good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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