so explain again why im purple
no
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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