covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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