nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize