Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
