At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
