would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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