I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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