I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's shark week go big or go home
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
