Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
