I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
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I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize