He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
