She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
