we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
