I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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