i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
