I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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