Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
